How to say “I love money” and mean it

How does it feel to say the phrase “I love money”? Even in an empty room, it can trigger feelings of shame and guilt. Or it might ring true for you. It depends on your money mindset which is essentially your perception of and beliefs around money that influence how you think about, make and spend money. So it’s pretty important for business owners as we determine how much money we make and how we allocate money to grow the business. 

What has been underrepresented in the discourse around money until recently is that money is intrinsically emotional. Our relationship with money can be one of fear and shame or one of appreciation and respect. The emotions involved in our relationship with money unavoidably impact how much we make, how much we save and what we spend it on. So what exactly do emotions have to do with money and what does that mean for taking ownership of our financial situation?

Money is emotional

The human experience of money is fascinating. I encourage you to explore your own experience of money with curiosity. Firstly, there are the emotions derived from the stories we were told about money which stand as reference points for understanding our lived experiences. There are stories like ‘money doesn’t grow on trees’ and ‘money is the root of all evil’ and ‘rich people are horrible because they must have exploited people to accumulate so much money’. These stories are derivative exaggerations of reality. 

No, we can’t magic money out of thin air but it is accessible to us. Yes, some people do evil things for money but many others earn a lot of money providing a highly valuable service to communities. Money is what you make it. It doesn’t necessarily feel like that when negative stories about money have been drilled into you and biased your interpretation. For example, you had a slow month and that triggered anxiety about money scarcity or you had a good month and overspent on stuff you didn’t really want because you feel uncomfortable accumulating wealth. 

The other emotional aspect of money is the emotional reaction to what money can do for us and our loved ones. How would it feel to work fewer hours so you can spend more time with your family? How would it feel to travel not just during the summer holidays but 4 times a year? How would it feel to retire your parents? Money is a vehicle for living according to our values and fulfilling a meaningful purpose. That’s probably why you started your own business. You wanted your income to not just sustain you but fulfil you. 

What’s the point of loving money?

You get that money is emotional due to past experiences and future potential. But why do we bring love into the mix? Can’t we just be civil with money? I love the concept of loving money because it breaks down barriers and restraints. It allows you to put your all into making money so you can put your all into creating the business and life you want for yourself. 

It eases resistance such as what you think is possible, what you think you deserve and what you think is socially acceptable. It’s like a permission slip to get excited about money without shame. It’s a permission slip to do whatever it takes for you to make the amount of money that would allow you to cross off your goals and ambitions one by one. It’s a permission slip to determine the relationship you want to have with money so you can intentionally write the next chapter of your money story. You step out of your own way and make money what you want it to be for you.

Finding your money flow

For many of us getting to the point of unashamedly loving money is a learning curve. We’re much more familiar and comfortable with ignoring it, being ashamed about it or desperately chasing after it. But change is always possible and the ripple effect of having a more positive and open relationship with money is well worth it. Here are some things you can try out to see how they change your relationship with money and the way it flows in and out of your life.  

Identifying and evaluating beliefs

First things first, do some self-exploration. You might not have thought much about your money mindset before. This is as good a time as any to explore it.

What have you been told about money throughout your life?

What experiences have created your current mindset around money?

What are your beliefs about money?

How do you view people with a lot of money and people with not much money? 

Once you dig into the nitty gritty, you can make intentional decisions about your beliefs and perceptions. Ones that align with your values, purpose and goals.

Your why

As you start to shift your money mindset from one you have acquired to one you have crafted to support your business growth, tap into your why. That will help you to have a more balanced view of money because it gives you a greater purpose that fuels your passion and your drive.

If you were to make it big in business tomorrow, what would you do with the money?

When your business goes through a rough patch, what motivates you to keep going?

What would have to happen in life for you to say “I’ve made it!”? 

Money enables you to do that directly such as funding your early retirement or indirectly such as by giving you time freedom. 

Lifestyle spending

Explore the lifestyle you’d like to have if money wasn’t a barrier. It’s not just the big goals but the day-to-day impact of money that can inform our financial decisions. Maybe you’d like to move to the countryside and live on a farm. Maybe you’d like to go all in on eco-living, getting solar panels for your house and only purchasing from sustainable brands. Making money gives you the freedom to engage in wallet activism and only spend money with companies and organisations you believe in.

What are you grateful that you have the money to buy?

What would your life be like if you had more money?

Money dates

I’ve heard a couple of financial experts talk about money dates and I think it’s a great idea. When we fear money, not having enough of it or spending too much of it, we avoid financial activities like checking our bank accounts. That’s very counterproductive because we don’t know what’s going on and that means we can’t make intentional money decisions. 

So it’s useful to sit down and actually look at your income, spending and progress towards financial goals at least once a month. It will either motivate you to keep going because you’re doing well or motivate you to get back on track because you’re not where you hoped you’d be. To avoid this feeling like a chore or a nerve-wracking activity, turn it into a romantic date. Put on some music. Light a candle. Bring along your favourite sweet treat. Make it an enjoyable experience so you’re more likely to stick with it and feel positive about your financial future. 

Charging your worth

As business owners, we have much more control over our income than most people. But we don’t always treat ourselves like it. For example, we only charge enough to earn what we were paid at our last employed job because that was more than enough. Or we charge an hourly rate keeping ourselves stuck in trading time for money. The financial freedom that would allow you to do all the things you want to do can only come from charging your true worth.

What value do you actually provide customers and clients?

What are similar people in your industry charging?

Working backwards, what would you need to charge to reach your financial goals?

Money chats

This one is simple but very effective. Engage in conversations about money. Staying silent about money only feeds the shame involved. Starting open conversations about money is liberating for yourself and the people around you. Granted not everyone will be up for it because of their own money mindset but for others, you’re giving them permission to go there and there’s so much to be learnt from others. They might have tried a strategy for making or saving more money that worked for them. They might know someone who does what you do and is charging a lot more, encouraging you to set rates that feel good to you. They might say something that completely changes your perspective. Money is too important to be cloaked in silence. 

Where to take your money exploration next

Money is one of those fascinating topics that I could talk to people about for hours. It’s so layered as our money behaviours are formed in childhood by the age of 7 according to research. Dismantling shame and other limiting beliefs about money and building a financial future takes time and determination. But when you find a way to engage with money that clicks, things start to fall into place. 

If you are interested in making more money, saving more money or changing how you spend money, the content we’ll explore in the Find Your Vibe Business Club in May is for you. Through daily journal prompts, guided workshops and other community discussions, we are facing money head-on, refining our money mindsets and taking meaningful action. So join us before May to be part of the whole journey of making money work for you, not the other way around.